I mean, if you got through the Xmas break without reading Glennon Doyles best-selling novel ‘Untamed’ are we even friends?
It’s easy to see the reason this book has become such a huge sensation is because it highlights the fact that we’re all just a little bit fucked up. What. A. Relief. I thought it was just me.
So, it’s the new year and I’m getting off on throwing out sarcastic comments like “new year, new you”. Cos guurrllll, 2021 is YOUR year. Pfft!
To be honest I do love the start of a new year and setting those goals and intentions just like everyone else. And whilst I pull the piss a lot, you should have goals. I totally believe in the power of manifestation and I love a good vision board (mine has a Range Rover on it and I just know that’s coming for me soon). Plus what kind of business mentor would I be if I didn’t endorse such healthy practices? I just don’t know why we all only seem to do this at the start of every year. Shouldn’t it be on the regular?
Now it’s day 3 of 2021 and I’m super lucky to have already had some overwhelming wisdom instilled upon me. And lucky for you I’ve decided to share it with the world.
I was enjoying some lovely alcoholic refreshments last night at a popular Perth bar with some of my nearest and dearest buddies. You know, the type of friends you can shit the bed with, and they’ll love you anyway.
So, I was having a heart to heart with my mate Dave and I was unleashing all my troubles of the world upon him. How I struggle with juggling multiple businesses, being a working mum, financially supporting my children plus dealing with the pressures and strains that come with being a blended family.
The blended family thing isn’t something I usually like to talk about out of respect for my children and their ‘other’ parents. I’m not about to start now other than to say for anyone else out there in a ‘blended’ situation, you are not alone. That shit is f@ckin HARD! (Yes, cue the violin!)
And whilst some of my daily struggles are pretty valid and normal, there are others for which there are no logic or understanding, such as the pain of watching one my closest friends battle a life-threatening illness.
Back to the bar…… Amongst my tales of woe, wise Dave sat there quietly, looked me square in the eye and said, “yes Elsa, but you are not special!”
Well fuck me Dave, that right there is the truth. I am NOT SPECIAL!
We all have our shit. ALL OF US! Just not everyone is like me – super vocal about it. Not that I like to think of myself as a whiner, just more of a ‘keeping it real’ kinda gal. Some of us prefer to bury that shit deep and ensure that no one ever finds out and that’s ok too. Although as Glennon Doyle says, if you’re not at least a little bit mentally ill, I’m not sure we can be friends.
I think we all need to cut ourselves some serious slack and stop being so hard on ourselves.
So my mantra for 2021 –
You are not special!
So what if you’re life is chaos. So what if you can’t get your shit together. So what if keep making the same mistakes.
You just keep showing up everyday and every day you try and do it better. Right?
And not that this post was meant to turn into a book review, I just really wanted to share Dave’s profound motivational speech he gave me last night at the pub (the home of all good speeches), I do have to highlight another excerpt from Untamed that resonated deeply with me.
Because I am guilty of being modest. And modesty was a trait I previously deemed admirable, until Glennon showed me otherwise;
She (Oprah) put her hand on mine and said, “Don’t do that. Don’t be modest. Dr. Maya Angelou used to say, ‘Modesty is a learned affectation. You don’t want modesty, you want humility. Humility comes from the inside out.'”
I think of what she said to me every day. She was saying: Playing dumb, weak, and silly is a disservice to yourself and to me and to the world. Every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully. Don’t mistake modesty for humility. Modesty is a giggly lie. An act. A mask. A fake game. We have no time for it.
Wish I was friends with Oprah.